Here's a story with a moral.
A girl was a sophomore is college. She went out one night with some friends and met a guy who was exactly the type she had dated her whole life. He talked a smooth game, had his confidence, and was easy-going when it came to meeting new people. They talked for awhile, and that night, exchanged numbers. They started texting back and forth (I believe the young-ins call this 'talking' nowadays); they were always very flirtatious, but never took it any step forward. He always talked about how he wasn't any good at relationships, and wasn't looking for anything serious, but thought she was awesome. She immediately got the idea that she could change him (this is one of those classic stories).
A few months later, this name-less girl was introduced to a guy who was a mutual friend of a friend. She was at a casual dinner, and thought nothing special of this guy. He was somewhat outgoing, and nice enough. After a few unplanned encounters, they exchanged numbers, and he did his best to be a stand-up guy. He had fallen into the friend-zone in the past, and worked his hardest to ensure that didn't happen again. The girl saw this effort, and it was intriguing. She found him interesting. He wanted to get to know her better, and wanted to see where it would go. Then he learned of Guy #1, and Guy #1 learned of Guy #2. There was a struggle for affection from this girl. Guy #1 thought he was a shoe-in. Guy #2 thought he was going to fall victim to the same old story. The Girl was torn, because Guy #1 was familiar, and Guy #2 was interesting. So which would she pick?
So she left it up to them. She told both Guys that if they really liked her, and wanted to be with her, then they would have to prove in ten words or less. Guy #1 knew exactly what he would say. The next day both guys went to the Girl's dorm, both ready to prove they were the right guy for her. She opened the door and Guy #1 said "I love you". The Girl was stunned, and she didn't know how to respond. Guy #1 thought he had won the battle for her affections. She turned to Guy #2 and looked at him to state his case. Guy #2 leaned in, and kissed the girl as passionately as he could, then stepped back. And The Girl chose Guy #2.
The Moral: Actions speak louder than words. Don't use 3 words when none will do.
Keep it Simple, Stupid. KISS. Boom Chyeah.
Until later,
Sunday, March 11, 2012
Tuesday, March 6, 2012
A few words of wisdom
Some people are so incredibly intelligent; and because of that I post this. Men, take notice and follow through. Remember that time you didn't make the first move, well fuck it. Do it next time.
Thanks to this guy; note: I did not write this. Someone way smarter did.
One of the biggest problems college guys face with women is being put in the “Friend Zone.” I can tell you from experience that being in the zone is terrible for your confidence and feels downright miserable. There’s nothing worse than having the girl you are in love with rejecting you on a daily basis and seeing her with other men.
Once you’re in the friend zone it’s difficult to get out, but not impossible. Getting out requires using jealousy plot lines intertwined with non-neediness and well timed teases. I teach this to my more more advanced students. For everyone else, this article is about NOT getting put into the friend zone.
So you know to stay out of the friend zone…but how? There are two characteristics which differentiate friends from winners - TEASING and TAKING RISKS
TEASING
Let’s talk about teasing. If you’ve read any of my blogs or my book you’ll know that teasing is key to building sexual tension. You need sexual tension to get a girl attracted to you. So let me ask you…why do you think some guys get put in the friend zone? I’ll tell you, the guys failed to establish sexual tension.
Look at it this way - conversations that DO NOT have sexual tension are exactly like your normal conversations between friends, colleagues, and acquaintances. Why SHOULDN’T you be in the friend zone if your conversations with the girl are just like everyone elses??? You need to differentiate yourself from everyone else. You need to be the one that brings the sexual tension into the interaction. Continue to tease and you will reduce your chances of being put in the friends zone.
RISK TAKING
Generally speaking…who’s supposed to make the first move? MEN of course. Both women and men understand that the man is supposed to initiate any major relationship escalation. The first kiss, the first time having sex, the marriage proposal, they are all supposed to be initiated by the man. So how does this relate to the friend zone?
One of the hardest steps to take in an interaction is the first kiss. Most guys look for the PERFECT time for a first kiss. Everything has to line up perfectly. But when you’re thinking about taking that step you’re scared of rejection..your adrenaline is rushing…your mind is running at a thousand miles an hour…you think that if you fail things are going to get awkward..etc..etc…Fear takes over and you freeze. You don’t go for the kiss. You think to yourself that next time will be different.
You’d be surprised how many times a guy gets placed in the friend zone because he fails to act. If you don’t kiss the girl she’s going to think that you DON’T LIKE HER and she’s going to move on to the next guy. She’ll put you on the back burner thinking you just want to be friends with her and continue her search for Mr. Right.
You need to get over yourself and be willing to take a risk. Don’t wait for the perfect moment to kiss her. Create the moment. Take any opportunity you have - even if you’re only alone with her for a minute or two.
I’d much rather be the guy who risked the kiss and failed than be the guy who wonders what would have happened if I tried.
Good right? Amen to you, sir. I'm making the first move.
Thanks to this guy; note: I did not write this. Someone way smarter did.
One of the biggest problems college guys face with women is being put in the “Friend Zone.” I can tell you from experience that being in the zone is terrible for your confidence and feels downright miserable. There’s nothing worse than having the girl you are in love with rejecting you on a daily basis and seeing her with other men.
Once you’re in the friend zone it’s difficult to get out, but not impossible. Getting out requires using jealousy plot lines intertwined with non-neediness and well timed teases. I teach this to my more more advanced students. For everyone else, this article is about NOT getting put into the friend zone.
So you know to stay out of the friend zone…but how? There are two characteristics which differentiate friends from winners - TEASING and TAKING RISKS
TEASING
Let’s talk about teasing. If you’ve read any of my blogs or my book you’ll know that teasing is key to building sexual tension. You need sexual tension to get a girl attracted to you. So let me ask you…why do you think some guys get put in the friend zone? I’ll tell you, the guys failed to establish sexual tension.
Look at it this way - conversations that DO NOT have sexual tension are exactly like your normal conversations between friends, colleagues, and acquaintances. Why SHOULDN’T you be in the friend zone if your conversations with the girl are just like everyone elses??? You need to differentiate yourself from everyone else. You need to be the one that brings the sexual tension into the interaction. Continue to tease and you will reduce your chances of being put in the friends zone.
RISK TAKING
Generally speaking…who’s supposed to make the first move? MEN of course. Both women and men understand that the man is supposed to initiate any major relationship escalation. The first kiss, the first time having sex, the marriage proposal, they are all supposed to be initiated by the man. So how does this relate to the friend zone?
One of the hardest steps to take in an interaction is the first kiss. Most guys look for the PERFECT time for a first kiss. Everything has to line up perfectly. But when you’re thinking about taking that step you’re scared of rejection..your adrenaline is rushing…your mind is running at a thousand miles an hour…you think that if you fail things are going to get awkward..etc..etc…Fear takes over and you freeze. You don’t go for the kiss. You think to yourself that next time will be different.
You’d be surprised how many times a guy gets placed in the friend zone because he fails to act. If you don’t kiss the girl she’s going to think that you DON’T LIKE HER and she’s going to move on to the next guy. She’ll put you on the back burner thinking you just want to be friends with her and continue her search for Mr. Right.
You need to get over yourself and be willing to take a risk. Don’t wait for the perfect moment to kiss her. Create the moment. Take any opportunity you have - even if you’re only alone with her for a minute or two.
I’d much rather be the guy who risked the kiss and failed than be the guy who wonders what would have happened if I tried.
Good right? Amen to you, sir. I'm making the first move.
IT WON'T
Direct Quote: "You meet the girl of your dreams, and want to say hi. But being the timid geek that you are, you go home and long for the day when your paths will cross again. IT WON'T. Life isn't a rehearsal. Do something for yourself, jackass".
I found it hilarious that I named this blog (is there a better word for blog? Because I hate that word) 'Rehearsing Life'. It actually makes me feel pretty foolish.
I started writing this to learn how to live life. To talk through it. To realize life's full potential, because, as I said, the goal is always learning from experience. And yet, by this quote's standards, I am not living life. I have to stop rehearsing for it. The show has started.
Now, the first part has not happened yet. Although maybe it has, and maybe one of the many girls i've gone home and wished I had said something to them about how beautiful they looked or how sweet they were was the one for me. But then again, maybe I haven't met her yet (hey, screw you, Michael Buble). "Do something for yourself, jackass". God that speaks to me.
But they're right. Life won't wait for me. It won't let me rehearse anymore, i've got to do the show now. I need to step on the stage and give them what i've got. Isn't that profound.
Maybe the ones i've met are more incredible than i'm giving them credit for. I really hope that's the case. Don't stop for me life, i'll catch up.
Until later,
I found it hilarious that I named this blog (is there a better word for blog? Because I hate that word) 'Rehearsing Life'. It actually makes me feel pretty foolish.
I started writing this to learn how to live life. To talk through it. To realize life's full potential, because, as I said, the goal is always learning from experience. And yet, by this quote's standards, I am not living life. I have to stop rehearsing for it. The show has started.
Now, the first part has not happened yet. Although maybe it has, and maybe one of the many girls i've gone home and wished I had said something to them about how beautiful they looked or how sweet they were was the one for me. But then again, maybe I haven't met her yet (hey, screw you, Michael Buble). "Do something for yourself, jackass". God that speaks to me.
But they're right. Life won't wait for me. It won't let me rehearse anymore, i've got to do the show now. I need to step on the stage and give them what i've got. Isn't that profound.
Maybe the ones i've met are more incredible than i'm giving them credit for. I really hope that's the case. Don't stop for me life, i'll catch up.
Until later,
Sunday, February 26, 2012
To see how fate works
A year ago, I had one goal: to buy myself a car. I didn't want anything new, nothing fancy. I wanted a vehicle, on wheels, that wasn't my mom's van. I wanted a car that didn't demand a planned schedule as to when I could use it, and when my sisters would get it. I wanted a car that didn't come with an argument over whose turn it was to put gas in it every time someone wanted to use it. I want something that I could call my own, and use to my liking.
Isn't it amazing that we can sometimes trace a single decision, a monumental choice in our life back to one simple idea. Me wanting my own car started a whirlwind of events that never would've happened if the gas light wasn't the biggest argument between my twin sister and I.
I just wanted to say that fate is funny. And we get a lot done when we look at the smallest idea as being the plant for so much more than that.
Until later,
Isn't it amazing that we can sometimes trace a single decision, a monumental choice in our life back to one simple idea. Me wanting my own car started a whirlwind of events that never would've happened if the gas light wasn't the biggest argument between my twin sister and I.
I just wanted to say that fate is funny. And we get a lot done when we look at the smallest idea as being the plant for so much more than that.
Until later,
Saturday, February 18, 2012
Formal Assessment
I've been trying to think of a proper analogy for being single in college. I could go with Barney Stinson's analogy of what being single is:
"Well it's not, it's not a candy store. It's post apocalyptic wasteland".
Which would actually be pretty accurate. College is like a picked-apart and torn land, in which only the strong survive, and the weak are picked off early in the night and are left heartbroken, beaten, or torn limb from limb.
But even that doesn't seem very fair. We're not all animals. Key word there: ALL.
But last night I think i figured it out. Being single in college is like a school dance. It makes sense, I swear.
See in a high school dance, you spend the first hour or so getting used to the DJ, meeting people, looking for your friends in the darkness and loud music. You're convinced that you're alone, that your so-called-friends are standing in huddle somewhere, laughing at your attempts to bump and grind through the crowd. Then you find them, scattered, and one by one you make the sacred circle, moving around just amongst your friends, wondering where the girls are, and whether you'll even dance with anyone of the opposite sex. You don't make the first move, you can't. You wait until the girls find you, and then you mingle. This is by far the worst part. You do this weird mix and switch move, in which you sit at this awkward stance between knowing that a particular girl wants to dance with you (was that a signal she just gave me?) and doubting everything you know about social cues. It's actually sort of hilarious. Like putting a bunch of awkward turtles in one tank and asking them to try and co-exist. And if for some reason some girl does want to dance, it usually starts with some strange eye contact, then a position switch, then a fumbling with a first hand on the hip, hoping to god she doesn't go running. And for some reason she doesn't run, you relax, and start to enjoy yourself.
But like a mating ritual; we spend a majority of the time we could've been getting down with our bad selves, and having a good time, trying to impress, trying to make connections. And we waste the time we've got. It's not going to last forever. The dance is almost over. Dance while you've got the chance.
College? I think so.
Until later,
"Well it's not, it's not a candy store. It's post apocalyptic wasteland".
Which would actually be pretty accurate. College is like a picked-apart and torn land, in which only the strong survive, and the weak are picked off early in the night and are left heartbroken, beaten, or torn limb from limb.
But even that doesn't seem very fair. We're not all animals. Key word there: ALL.
But last night I think i figured it out. Being single in college is like a school dance. It makes sense, I swear.
See in a high school dance, you spend the first hour or so getting used to the DJ, meeting people, looking for your friends in the darkness and loud music. You're convinced that you're alone, that your so-called-friends are standing in huddle somewhere, laughing at your attempts to bump and grind through the crowd. Then you find them, scattered, and one by one you make the sacred circle, moving around just amongst your friends, wondering where the girls are, and whether you'll even dance with anyone of the opposite sex. You don't make the first move, you can't. You wait until the girls find you, and then you mingle. This is by far the worst part. You do this weird mix and switch move, in which you sit at this awkward stance between knowing that a particular girl wants to dance with you (was that a signal she just gave me?) and doubting everything you know about social cues. It's actually sort of hilarious. Like putting a bunch of awkward turtles in one tank and asking them to try and co-exist. And if for some reason some girl does want to dance, it usually starts with some strange eye contact, then a position switch, then a fumbling with a first hand on the hip, hoping to god she doesn't go running. And for some reason she doesn't run, you relax, and start to enjoy yourself.
But like a mating ritual; we spend a majority of the time we could've been getting down with our bad selves, and having a good time, trying to impress, trying to make connections. And we waste the time we've got. It's not going to last forever. The dance is almost over. Dance while you've got the chance.
College? I think so.
Until later,
Tuesday, February 7, 2012
20 years or The Leap
Today, I turn 20. It's not a big number when you look at it in terms of the big picture of life, but it certainly marks the end and beginning of a certain time of your life.
It's the end of innocence of teenage years. Sure, there will always be times to blame the world for your problems, and bitch to your parents, and say that you've been hurt soooo many times. But 20 marks a time when these actions are no longer tolerated. People don't want to hear you complain. Figure out what the problem is, and solve it. Plain. Simple.
I completed my list. The list entitled: 20 Things to do before Turning 20. And although it came down to the wire and although I had my doubts, I couldn't have finished it without the help of a few people who mean the world to me.
Put on A.C. Newman- "Prophets" before reading this next part. Taking a cue from Ted Mosby and How I Met Your Mother:
This was the year I learned what the value of working is. It was the year I realized what it was I wanted to do with my life. It was the year I was rejected/stood up 10 separate times. It was the year I learned my tolerance for alcohol. It was the year I had my heart broken by the same girl, on 3 separate occasions. It was the year I moved in with some of the greatest friends I have ever had. And it was the year I got my ass kicked by a door. And i'll be damned if it wasn't the best year of my life.
until later,
It's the end of innocence of teenage years. Sure, there will always be times to blame the world for your problems, and bitch to your parents, and say that you've been hurt soooo many times. But 20 marks a time when these actions are no longer tolerated. People don't want to hear you complain. Figure out what the problem is, and solve it. Plain. Simple.
I completed my list. The list entitled: 20 Things to do before Turning 20. And although it came down to the wire and although I had my doubts, I couldn't have finished it without the help of a few people who mean the world to me.
Put on A.C. Newman- "Prophets" before reading this next part. Taking a cue from Ted Mosby and How I Met Your Mother:
This was the year I learned what the value of working is. It was the year I realized what it was I wanted to do with my life. It was the year I was rejected/stood up 10 separate times. It was the year I learned my tolerance for alcohol. It was the year I had my heart broken by the same girl, on 3 separate occasions. It was the year I moved in with some of the greatest friends I have ever had. And it was the year I got my ass kicked by a door. And i'll be damned if it wasn't the best year of my life.
until later,
Monday, January 30, 2012
5 stitches
It has been one hell of a month, hasn't it? January pretty much kicked me in the nads. I talked earlier about how I like to bring in the new year in a way that will make the rest of the year rock. So far, January has let me down.
But there's something to being hit, quite literally, in the face by reality and fate that makes you wonder what's in store next. And even if a little-more-than-a-little-blood, 6+ hours in the infirmary/ER, and 5 stitches isn't enough of proof that there's a message the universe is trying to send to you, you realize it eventually. We all do. Sometimes it comes in a small dose, like having a sensory reaction you didn't expect, and sometimes it's a 30 pound door being swung in your face. 3 years ago it was a car accident and a blinking gas light. I call these moments "resets". They are the times when you look, introspectively, on what you've done in your past and what you could do better in the future. Call it what you will, but fate has a damn-good way of stopping you in your tracks and making you re-evaluate your life.
So far this month, i've thrown up my guts, i've had my heart broken, and I got my ass kicked by a swinging door. I'll be damned if I can't call it interesting at least. Hopefully it's just the universe's way of saying that something even more interesting, and hopefully better, is on the horizon.
Until later,
But there's something to being hit, quite literally, in the face by reality and fate that makes you wonder what's in store next. And even if a little-more-than-a-little-blood, 6+ hours in the infirmary/ER, and 5 stitches isn't enough of proof that there's a message the universe is trying to send to you, you realize it eventually. We all do. Sometimes it comes in a small dose, like having a sensory reaction you didn't expect, and sometimes it's a 30 pound door being swung in your face. 3 years ago it was a car accident and a blinking gas light. I call these moments "resets". They are the times when you look, introspectively, on what you've done in your past and what you could do better in the future. Call it what you will, but fate has a damn-good way of stopping you in your tracks and making you re-evaluate your life.
So far this month, i've thrown up my guts, i've had my heart broken, and I got my ass kicked by a swinging door. I'll be damned if I can't call it interesting at least. Hopefully it's just the universe's way of saying that something even more interesting, and hopefully better, is on the horizon.
Until later,
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