Formal Assessment

I've been trying to think of a proper analogy for being single in college. I could go with Barney Stinson's analogy of what being single is:
"Well it's not, it's not a candy store. It's post apocalyptic wasteland".

Which would actually be pretty accurate. College is like a picked-apart and torn land, in which only the strong survive, and the weak are picked off early in the night and are left heartbroken, beaten, or torn limb from limb.

But even that doesn't seem very fair. We're not all animals. Key word there: ALL.

But last night I think i figured it out. Being single in college is like a school dance. It makes sense, I swear.
See in a high school dance, you spend the first hour or so getting used to the DJ, meeting people, looking for your friends in the darkness and loud music. You're convinced that you're alone, that your so-called-friends are standing in huddle somewhere, laughing at your attempts to bump and grind through the crowd. Then you find them, scattered, and one  by one you make the sacred circle, moving around just amongst your friends, wondering where the girls are, and whether you'll even dance with anyone of the opposite sex. You don't make the first move, you can't. You wait until the girls find you, and then you mingle. This is by far the worst part. You do this weird mix and switch move, in which you sit at this awkward stance between knowing that a particular girl wants to dance with you (was that a signal she just gave me?) and doubting everything you know about social cues. It's actually sort of hilarious. Like putting a bunch of awkward turtles in one tank and asking them to try and co-exist. And if for some reason some girl does want to dance, it usually starts with some strange eye contact, then a position switch, then a fumbling with a first hand on the hip, hoping to god she doesn't go running.  And for some reason she doesn't run, you relax, and start to enjoy yourself.
But like a mating ritual; we spend a majority of the time we could've been getting down with our bad selves, and having a good time, trying to impress, trying to make connections. And we waste the time we've got. It's not going to last forever. The dance is almost over. Dance while you've got the chance.

College? I think so.
Until later,