Lately, i've been thinking about when I used to hear about other people's abroad experiences. It was always fun, you know, to hear about what to expect. Of course every experience was different, but the conversation always ended the same: "You're going to love it, it will change your life".
Now I talk a lot of about high expectations. Doesn't this seem like the highest of them all? Life-changing? I mean seriously, set the standards a little higher, please.
That's a huge idea just by itself, really. The fast that Life is so dynamic, so versatile, is incredible. We like to think of ourselves as being one person, one identity, at one time, and then we look at a picture of ourselves from years ago, or even months ago and we think about just how different we were back then, or sometimes just how different we are now. And that maybe scary, because change IS scary, but it's a simple fact of life.
I think a lot of people are resistant to such change because maybe they like where they are now. Maybe the universe has given them the perfect situation, at the perfect time, and they don't want to even conceive of a time where that could change. I know that's how I feel. Frankly, if someone told me months ago that the happiness I had then wouldn't last, i'd be distraught.
The funny thing about the universe is that it's goal is not to trick you or even to mess things up, but it's goal to change you for the better. Here's an exercise: if someone with the same amount of authority as the universe told you right now that 3 months from now you'd be broke, and begging on the street, would you question them and say "there's no way that's possible", or would you say "well there must be a good reason for that" and accept it? Most people would go with the former, only because they're so resistant to change. I am most people, in this case.
But I don't know. Maybe things can be life-changing. It seems strange that we can put that much gravity on one situation, one event, on time in our lives; but I look back on the last 3 years, and there have definitely been moments that have led me to change, or have shaped me to be the person I am today. so maybe it's okay to put that expectation on something like going abroad. Who's to say either way?
the funny thing about life-changing experiences is that at the time, they don't appear that way. In fact, often times they seems so insignificant, so subtle. The hold-your-breath moment right before a first kiss; the silence after someone says it can't work; the walk home that you think will be your last. These things are so habitual, so mundane that they don't feel that they should carry any weight. And yet, they do. The fact is, you're different. You're not going to feel right away. But look at the photographs again.
I absolutely hate being retrospective before it's due time, so I won't go there. And I'm not going to think about this experience being "life-changing" just yet. There's time for that later.
There's no new run-down, except to say that Scotland knows how to do Christmas.
Until later,
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