Choices

Life is full of them, isn't it? It's fascinating how a decision, something we make consciously using knowledge we have and risking that which we don't know, controls the fate of our lives. Sure, it could just affect a moment, a miniscule period of time, a mere few seconds. But still.

People say that we often don't have control over our lives. That there is an eternal being, a mapped-out guide to our life. Trust me. I believe in fate and all, but a choice contradicts that, doesn't it?
 Today I was thinking about the moments of this past year that defined the year. The milestones. The times where I knew I would remember that moment forever. They defined the year. Shaped it. Shook it up. Sometimes made me feel like i'd never get through it. But I did. I passed the new year, and 2012 so far seems to be already deciding the path it wants to take me on. But all of those moments were decided by me. I choose to make them happen; I said the right thing, or I made the right move. I chose the right person, or the right time, the right place. And those choices are what make me think that control isn't what we strive for as humans. We don't want to be in control. We want the choice. We want the thrill of knowing we made some sort of mark on the 'fate assigned to us'.

Today I chose to be in love with my current place. And it's the happiest i've been in a long time. I chose to be content with my past choices, and that's probably the hardest thing you can do, mentally. Try. for just a minute. Try to be content with all the mistakes you've made, all the shit you've done, and all the people you've hurt. It's not easy. But it helps to know that, somehow, you had the choice to do so. And for some strange, and maybe brilliant and correct reason, that choice was right. Take the leap, folks. It's harder than you think.

until later